you know what..

i'm ready. i'm tired, restless, bored, lethargic, antsy, and everything in between. i'm that feeling when you can't sleep late at night and you spend hours tossing and turning and kicking off the covers, breaking into a cold sweat as you grow increasingly frustrated by this wave of insomnia that's come over you. i've got so much to do and yet nothing at all. i'm growing weary.

i set the bar high. i expect so much excitement to come from finally being at college. i don't want to be disappointed. there's a lot to look forward to. i know i won't be disappointed. the change itself will be excitement enough. i think that's what i'm craving most. a change. change of scenery, new faces, a breath of fresh air. i spent most of my summer straddling the borderline of being ready and being apprehensive. i think i've finally made a leap for the other side, because im overcome with this feeling of readiness like nothing before. the nerves are still there, but i feel like i'm welcoming change with open arms now.

i'm pretty sure i've heard "you're so lucky" and "live it up" a dozen times but rather than take advantage of the extra month i've gotten before moving 6 and half hours northward, i've let it get to me. the extended relaxation time and all the "let's hangout!"s that never seem to pan out have brought me down into a complete state of apathy.

ahh, my irksome tone makes me sound like im in the doldrums and quite unappreciative of things. i don't even really know if i make sense. i'm odd, as are my feelings. sorry. but i'm ready. ready. ready. ready.