i took my wasted efforts and focus away from you for a moment yesterday and stepped outside to take the call. everything just poured out with no end in sight to my words, let alone my emotionally draining dilemma. but then i glanced over from behind the car, in hiding almost, and peered through the glass window and saw you.

except it wasn't even you that i was looking at anymore. it was what had become, or what is left rather, of you. nothing. i felt nothing anymore. the shreds of anything and everything that i held on to for hope melted away. i just didn't care anymore. the detriment of my self-worth because of you faded away with the realization of your worthlessness to me now. the slate is wiped clean, milestones that were reached shattered, and seemingly recent memories became irrelevant. at that moment you nearly ceased to exist to me anymore. i reached the point where i gathered all my strength, lifted the thousand-ton weight of anger, sadness, disappointment, confusion, and complete bullshit off my shoulders and just let it go. i released it and let it float away, away from me, as if it weighed nothing at all.

you looked over curiously, unconcerned. i blinked, bringing myself back to reality. i rubbed my right shoulder as i turned away slowly and remembered the phone in my hand. "thanks for listening." i put my phone away and walked back as if a completely new day has started. i was done being dragged along, stepped on, vulnerable. fuck you, have a nice life.