you will never ever be able to comprehend just how capable you are of making me feel utterly inadequate and lower than low--complete shit. you break me down and shatter me in a matter of seconds. i don't know myself anymore. not at all. i hate me for this feeling i can't shake.

it's becoming cyclical and that terrifies me. there's only so many times i can crack before i'm permanently broken.

since starting school, i have never desperately wished to be back home more than i do now.