In-betweens

I don't want to miss it. I'm comfortable. I like being here.

And yet I do. Sometimes. Why? It's never ceases.

Jumped the gun. Assumed. Settled for contentment. Swept it under the rug. Kept it inside. I'm mature. I'm older, an adult. I can handle it. Look out for the younger one. He's gonna break. Can't handle it. Who's looking out for me? Don't need that. Right? Is it really too much to ask for. Is it really. I don't think so...at least not by any standard of normalcy. But then again, when has normalcy ever been a long-term guest around here. The rock. I'm supposed to be that, at this point in time, I'm counted on to just be a rock. Stone-cold. Emotions gone away. Am I allowed to shatter? If the words they utter come down on me like one-ton picks. Breaking me. Don't take sides, they don't realize. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Always the same, never refrained. In my head. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm gonna burst, it can't take residency in the recesses of my mind. Wearing me down. Nonsensical. All of it.

Am I allowed to shatter?